Post Twenty-Nine: Sexual Exploits
- Britany le Fay
- May 26, 2016
- 2 min read
Elli
I was mortified, and to be honest, Morgan looked like he was too. The last thing I wanted was for him to know about my sexual exploits. Especially right now, at this moment. Tonight was supposed to be fun, just a way to let off steam.
Maybe Nat and I weren't as good at holding our alcohol as I had thought.
“I'm sorry,” Morgan said quickly, he looked in a panic “she just said the thing about Kyle, and I just assumed by the way you talked that I was your third, and before I could stop myself I was already asking her.”
“I...” I tried to put my words together, I was too drunk for this shit, “I...didn't think it mattered...” Was all I could think to say.
I felt guilty. I didn't want to, but I did.
“It doesn't matter, I'm sorry,” Morgan apologized.
“Is it going to bug you? Do you need to know?” I asked leaning back in my chair, chewing on my lower lip. Why did this have to happen now?
“I don't...” he began.
“The reason I ask,” I interrupted, “is because if something bugs me, I know it won't leave my brain until I know the answer. If it's the same way for you, I will tell you. But I was hoping we'd never have this conversation.”
It would bug me if I was him. Getting a glimpse into someone's past, then being cut off from the information. I would think about it constantly. I knew I wouldn't be able to let it go, so why would I expect him to?
“Tell me,” he looked nervous, waiting for the unknown number to leave my lips. What if it only made me him feel worse? What if it changed his opinion of me? It was too late now, I would have to trust him.
“Nine.”
“Nine,” he repeated. He looked unsure of what he felt.
“Ten including you,” I corrected.
“Ten...”
“So...seven guys...” he mumbled.
“It was spread over two years, and they were all drunken one-night stands. Some of them are my friends now, and others I've never seen again. But they all meant nothing.”
“You just made is sound like you had never done anything like this before...”
“I hadn't. The one night stands I've had...I mean, they were planned. It was known by both parties that it was just a one time thing. With us...the first time. It was so uncertain, I didn't know where it was going.”
“Oh, I see,” he practically whispered, then added “do you want to know my number?”
“No.”
“No?”
“It doesn't matter to me, I love you regardless of a number,” I quickly covered my mouth realizing what I had just said.
“You love me?” He teased, a grin forming on his face.
“Not love... I mean...it's an expression, I just meant...”
He pulled me in, kissing me before I could finish. I loved him? How could I say that? Especially at this moment of all the moments I could have picked. Even if I didn't mean to, it was still there. Now he knew.
“I think we need more drinks,” I offered.
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