Post Thirty-Seven: A Full Recovery
- Britany le Fay
- Jun 7, 2016
- 2 min read
Elli
After all the mixed signals I gave Morgan, I was surprised to see him recover so quickly. The next morning, he was back to normal. Being playful, making jokes, and doting on me. Just as before. With no mention of our previous conversation.
To be honest, I was kind of happy to go back to the way we were. I didn't really have any good answers for him. None that I wanted to offer, anyway.
I borrowed my parent's extra car to take him to the dog park two towns over. It was an old beat up thing that they let my brother and I use on occasion. Both of us had our licenses, neither of us had our own car. Dash still lived with our parent's due to his fairly expensive student loans. Plus, he had just finished school is January.
It took longer to get to the dog park in Oshawa, but it was far superior to the one in Bowmanville. So the extra travel time was well worth it.
When we got there, I watched Morgan get out of the car looking fairly pale.
“Are you okay?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Elli, you are a really scary driver,” he told me.
“Now you know why I don't have a car,” I laughed.
It was true, I wasn't the greatest driver. Too nervous. I had never gotten comfortable behind the wheel.
We spent our time at the dog park discussing random things, nothing of particular importance. He held my hand as we walked. Or maybe I held his. It was hard to say who initiated it. I just focused on enjoying what little time we had left together.
On Friday, we spent the entire time in bed. Dreading the morning when he would leave. Making the most of our last day. Tracing each others body's like a map we prayed we could memorize.
As we lay in bed together that night, staring at my ceiling, silent. I wished I had handled things differently.
“I'm sorry I asked you that questioned the other day,” Morgan said softly.
“I'm sorry I didn't have a better answer,” I countered.
“I'm really happy I met you, this week has been...well, words can't really describe this week, can they?”
“No, they really can't,” I agreed.
“Listen,” Morgan sighed, turning over to face me, “I don't want you to come to the airport with me tomorrow...”
“Oh...”
There it was. Those words. The words I was dreading.
He didn't want me there. I had blown it.
No matter how much I told myself it was for the best, there was a twinge inside of me that wished he would fight for us. But why would he when he thinks it's a losing a battle? I really can't blame him. I was the one who said I didn't see us going anywhere. I had no right to be upset.
“It's not like that,” he continued, “it's just...it was really hard last time. For both of us, and this time I really have to go. I just don't think I could if you were there.”
“Oooh,” I smiled to myself.
God help me.
“Now let's get some sleep so you aren't cranky in the morning,” he teased, as he put his arms around me. Spooning me tightly.
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