Post Thirty-Nine: Whirlwind Romance

Elli

“What? That's it?” Nat said to me in disbelief.

We sat at our dinner table while I recounted my goodbye with Morgan to her, as well as the bleak conversation we had about our future together. To which he and I had agreed, there was none.

“Yeah, what else do you want?” I countered.

“I don't know, something! That can't be it!” She urged.

“I don't know what to tell you, Nat. That's it, that's all I've got. We exchanged e-mails, though I doubt he'll keep in touch.”

“Oh, just because you were a little confusing, doesn't mean he doesn't still like you. We are girls after all. Inconsistency is our middle name.”

“That's rather sexist of you,” I gently pointed out.

“It can't be, I'm a girl,” she argued.

“I don't think you understand what sexist means,” I laughed.

“I do too!” She retorted, “I'm not getting into proper definitions with you, don't change the subject!”

“Hey, speaking of changing the subject,” I joked, “what was that festival thing? I know it couldn't be the marijuana march, cause it's not 420...”

“Elli, the marijuana march is not on 420. Jeez.”

“Oh, so is that what it was?”

“What? No. That was in May.”

“Oooh...”

“Are you serious? You don't know what the festival was for?”

“I don't know, my days are all mixed up.”

“Jesus Christ, Elli. It was fucking Canada Day.”

“Oooh...oh!”

We both burst out laughing. Not sure how that could have slipped my mind.

“You are seriously the worst Canadian ever,” she shook her head.

“I guess I am,” I conceded.

“Seriously though, no changing the subject! I don't understand how that can be it,” she whined, “you had a full-blown whirlwind romance, it can't just end.”

“That wind seemed more like a tornado if you ask me,” I groaned, laying my head on the table.

“Well, did you at least finally, you know...” Nat nudged me.

“What?” I shrugged.

“You know?” She smiled, sticking her tongue out suggestively.

“Oh, dear God, no,” I quickly shook my head, “I made such an ass of myself, I'm seriously never doing that, ever.”

Nat sighed, in a rather loud and obnoxious way.

“Come on Elli, you can't get all worked up about it. It's not a big deal whatsoever. Just because you happened to be with one guy who prefers a prepubescent looking coin-slot down there...”

“Perfectly compact...” I grumbled, “like yours.”

I knew as soon as I said it, how wrong it sounded. I immediately regretted the words, but I couldn't take them back. Nat's face flushed.

“Elli, do I need to apologize again?” She said defensively, but she was guilt-ridden.

I could see it all over her face. She would say sorry a million times over again if it would make things better. It wouldn't. Nothing would. That's why it wasn't worth it.

“No, no, I didn't mean it like that. It came out wrong.”

“He told me you guys broke up...I'm not saying it makes it okay, but I was drunk. It was stupid, and pathetic...I wasn't thinking...” She began her apologies, nothing I hadn't heard before.

We had rehashed it a million times since it's happened, it had almost become a well thought out play at this point. I knew all the lines, all the steps.

I'd just rather not think about it.

“We really don't need to go over it again,” I interjected.

“Okay, it's just...you mean more to me than anyone else in this world. I never wanted to hurt you. I just want you to forgive me.”

“And I do,” I told her, “that doesn't mean I have to forgive Paul though.”

“I know, I know that,” she nodded.

Our usual awkward silence followed the recounting of the same unpleasant story. It happened over and over again. I was sick of it. I never wanted to think on it again. However, with every slip of the tongue, it would be dredged up again.

How was I supposed to forgive her if we had to keep reliving it?

“Maybe you should e-mail him,” Nat piped up.

“No, I don't think that's a good idea. I meant what I said. Now just isn't a good time for me to get involved with someone,” I explained, “and I told you what Kyle said. We've got a lot of work to do in the next little while.”

It's just time to get back to the real world.

#partone #postthirtynine #whirlwindromance #polyamorous #comedy #drama #romance #elli