Post Thirty-Eight: No More Waiting

Morgan

I watched her as she slept in the morning. Her steady breathing keeping beat. Her hair a mess from tossing and turning through the night. The way her eyes fluttered at random intervals.

She was an angel.

“Elli...” I whispered, “I know you're sleeping. I just have to tell you that I love you one last time. Because I do, I'm sure that I do. I've never felt this way about anyone before. You are simply amazing. I hope that we will meet again. I'm sorry things have to end. I love you.”

I kissed her forehead as she remained unstirred by my musings.

It was bittersweet. Waking up in the morning for the last time together. She made pancakes for me, but wouldn't eat any herself. She smiled as much as possible, pretending like everything was okay. Handling it much better than last time. Maybe it was just easier for her.

We exchanged e-mails, with the hopes of keeping in touch. Though I was quite certain she wouldn't. Which could have been for the best. I couldn't imagine talking to her, knowing she was out of reach. Hearing her stories of how her life was going without me. If she would even tell me anything.

No, it would just make things more difficult.

“What's up?” She asked me, sipping some coffee.

“Just thinking,” I answered, stretching a bit, then placing my hand over hers.

“May I ask what you're thinking about?”

“I don't know, just random things I guess. Wondering if we'll see each other again.”

“I think we will, I mean, I hope we will,” she offered me another smile.

But it seemed fake. It felt like she was just biding time until I left.

“I guess I should get going,” I sighed.

“Already?” She looked alarmed, grabbing onto my hand as I began to stand up.

“Yeah, I don't want to miss my flight. The travel time is kind of a factor as well,” I explained, “plus goodbyes are always terrible. Better to get it over with.”

“Oh...”

Why was I being such a jerk?

I could see on her face how upset she was, she didn't want me to go.

No, she did care. She has to. It's written all over her. She's clinging onto me, afraid to let go. Afraid we won't ever see each other again. So why doesn't she want to be together? Why is she making it so complicated? It could be so easy.

I pulled her up beside me, and kissed her. Lingering my mouth over hers. Rubbing my nose on her nose. She giggled.

“You are so cute,” I told her.

“I...” she began, but then stopped herself.

“What is it?”

“No, nothing. It will just make it harder.”

What could possibly make this harder?

I moved to the doorway of her apartment. My hand over the doorknob. Waiting. Just...waiting.

“It was nice meeting you,” she grinned, “Morgan fucking Clery.”

I couldn't help but return her smile. Giving her one more kiss before the wait was over.

#partone #postthirtyeight #nomorewaiting #polyamorous #comedy #romance #drama #morgan