Post Thirty: Hesitation

Morgan

Too many shots later, we were heading back to her place. The pub had closed and Natalie had disappeared. Elli could barely stand as we sauntered up the stairs of her apartment building. She heavily leaned on me to keep her footing. We got into her room, and she crashed on the bed. Lifting her dress off of her as she smirked to herself.

She had underwear on, but no bra. She leaned back on the bed in a very suggestive manor. As she stretched out her body.

I took off my shirt, and started undoing my pants.

“You are so perfect,” she cooed, her eyes unevenly blinking, “I can't believe how perfect you are.”

She was beyond drunk at this point. Her words slurred, and her eyes were unable to keep open for too long. Yet, I still wanted her. I couldn't help it. She was laying there, practically naked, giving me that look.

She sat up, inching her way towards me, wrapping her arms about my waist, and kissing my stomach.

“God, you are so sexy,” she said, finishing pulling down my pants, and putting me in her mouth. She was rougher this time, but I didn't mind. I moved my hands down to her head, and pulled her away, kissing her softly. It just didn't seem right when she was so drunk. No matter how much I wanted it to be.

“You are amazing,” I told her, lifting her a bit, moving her back into the bed as I got onto it.

Maybe if we just lay together for awhile, she would fall asleep and we could avoid any uncomfortableness. I didn't want to have to turn her down.

“Hey, I was thinking,” she said, seemingly unnoticing of my hesitation, “remember what we talked about before...that thing that I've never done...maybe you could...I mean, if you want...you could do it.”

Oh no. Please don't say that. Not right now.

She carefully removed her underwear, smiling at me.

I sat up, looking over her. I wanted to, of course I did. But I knew it was a big deal to her, and she was quite possibly only saying it because she was so inebriated. I couldn't in good conscience eat her out for the first time when there was a chance she might not even remember.

“I want to,” I muttered, “but...I can't, not right now, not when you are so drunk. It wouldn't be right.”

She shot up, sitting in front of me. Her face shocked.

“I'm not that drunk...” she stammered, “you don't want to...oh my God...I can't believe this is happening...” She put her heard in her hands as if to hide her embarrassment.

“No, Elli, I'm sorry, it's not that. I do want to, you have no idea. It's just you feel so strongly about it. I want to do it when we are both sober, you know? It sounds stupid I'm sure, but it's not that I don't want to. I promise.”

“You...” Elli paused, looking straight down. She was so quiet.

I was worried she was going to cry, I tried to move her hands from her face, but she wouldn't let me.

“Elli? I'm sorry, please don't be upset, I'm so sorry.”

What have I done? She confided in me, and I shot her down. How would she ever forgive me? Why was I being such a wuss, it wasn't that big of a deal. This is was stupid, I was being stupid.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, I'm just being stupid,” I paused, “we can do it, I want to do it. Please.”

She finally looked up at me, with a strange, unsettling expression. Her face was pale and green. She blinked really hard.

Then she vomited all over my lap.

#partone #postthirty #hesitation #polyamorous #comedy #romance #drama #morgan